I thought I knew what art was, but then you took off
layers of black and black only clothes you always wore
quickly in my notebook, I wrote down a list
of all your tattoos and places you picked to have them in
on your chest, there is written
my name in black ink
it is not weird, it never was weird
after all, it means a Sunday
a day when you were born
quite some time ago
but my name means also The One Who Belongs To The Lord
and God knows that night I did
in the darkness of November after a decade I worshipped a body
and was worshipped by one
I have visited many worlds
a tantric, a kinky, a tender twice
but this time they all came together
as I finally made love
in frozen, heartless, coldest times
you melted my being without any words
tattooed fingers counted my ribs
Way of Sorrows recalling I wished
for nothing but to escape, to run away
before with memories I crucify myself
I stayed
convincing my heart
it is strong enough to carry this cross
in each despair, there is always a hope
in the morning I realised how big that bed was
and I remembered the goodnight kiss on my neck
sniffing my hair
somewhere between my left ear and a collarbone, you wanted to move in
you wanted to have a home
I remember how gently you leave, covering me
coming back minutes later to bring two cups of coffee
I sentenced myself
though I thought I was not starving anymore
my mouth was open
craving everything you kept untold
waiting for a breadcrumb
to fall down from the table by which you eat
I would pick each tiny piece
to pray to
to feed on
to meditate upon until
two times I fell
draining, starving, yearning
the hunger in my heart was not really helping
how can two people differ so much
when their bodies once separated die to be touched
by the other
by each other
we slept with the ghosts repeating past scenes
your shield protected you perfectly from feelings things
but not towards me
never towards me
you see I am a weirdo
my beauty lies in the fact that I can never be forgotten or frozen
no matter the times
and when I love
I give my all
but when I leave
for good I am gone
but I came back
because your ghost
travelled with me through all the countries I crossed
each time I was in trouble and when at peace
I wanted to be melted once more by these
tattooed fingers
your face of a God
the body that floats so perfectly with mine
we took a walk unable to speak
no words could ever stop us from this
you are leaving the country
y o u a r e l e a v i n g t h e c o u n t r y
which station is this
are we even halfway through crucifying me
kissing my wet eyelids you said
I wish I felt more
I wish I knew how
I am not a patient woman you should know by now
I cannot spend another decade opening doors
there is my name on your chest
yet in this lifetime we only remain two ghosts
